


desperate times, desperate measures

by pikwanchu



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: M/M, jeno fanboy!dy, kinda one sided enemies to lovers but im not gonna tag further cause i aint spoiling
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-10
Updated: 2018-07-10
Packaged: 2019-06-08 06:31:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15237468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pikwanchu/pseuds/pikwanchu
Summary: 10/10:‘I wish I had found a sugar daddy like him that took me to concerts :(( imagine all the support my clc girlies would have gotten’, Ten adds, and Doyoung pales slightly.JENOS DAD: ‘wait’JENOS DAD:‘hes not my sugar duddy asshole!!!!!!’JENOS DAD: ‘daddy*’Or,Yuta has certain tickets and Doyoung really wants to go to Dream's concert, so a trip to Tokyo happens.





	desperate times, desperate measures

Doyoung shouldn’t have opened Instagram today. He just shouldn't have. And much less should have seen everyone’s stories.

Especially that one story.

 _His_ story.

He even curses the very finger that decided to click on the colourful icon on its own, automatically, as he flopped on the bench in the middle of the college’s park to eat his subway. Because now he won’t even be able to eat it, anyway. His heart is thumping too fast, and his hands are shaking. There’s no way he can swallow down any centimeter of his chicken Subway, not at all.

_“thank you cousin @h.momo96 but what am I supposed to do with these lol”_

That caption alone is infuriating.

More so considering what exactly Nakamoto Yuta is holding between his fingers so carelessly, like those two papers have no actual value. Like those yellow tickets are just train ones, or tickets for a neighborhood lottery where you know you don’t give a fuck about winning the fruit baskets the ahjumma that sold them to you is trying to bribe you with, but you just end up buying them because you just can’t say no to them.

He holds them like they are not, in fact, tickets to NCT Dream’s first Japanese showcase _and_ fan meeting.

He holds them like Doyoung wouldn’t do anything to have at least one of those between his own hands.

He can’t help it. His betraying fingers move on their own again, and he’s messaging the dumbass, annoying, loud and arrogant _@nayutss_ , also known as Nakamoto Yuta, also known as _that prick that just won’t understand Doyoung doesn’t like him_.

Yet, here he is. Doyoung could stand being slightly hypocritical, at least he can for NCT Dream.

_@kdyoo_9602:_

_‘where did you get those??’_

He sends it before he even knows what he wrote, but the little eye marking the message as seen appears instantly. Doyoung stares at his phone, expectantly, eyes glued to the screen waiting for the three dots that mean Yuta is replying to appear, but at least ten minutes go by, and there’s no response.

_@kdyoo_9602_

_‘hey!!’_

He tries again, because he doesn’t give a fuck about sounding desperate by this moment. He is desperate.

 

_@nayutss_

_‘lol im omw home don’t be annoying’_

Doyoung glares at his phone and lets an annoyed sigh escape his throat. Of course he would test his patience like this. Of-fucking-course.

‘ _ok!!’_ he replies, instead of the waterfall of insults his mind is conjuring, because he can’t fight him now. Not now that he needs to be on his good side.

Five minutes go by. Then ten. Then fifteen, and he wonders if his fuckass-korean translator broke, because he thought that response meant that he was going to tell him once he got home, but he knows for a fact that Yuta is the one who lives the closest to the campus, and even if he drags his feet, the trip wouldn’t take him longer than ten minutes.

When twenty minutes go by, the three dots appear, and Doyoung’s heart races again.

_@nayutss_

_‘remember my cousin from last time?’_

Doyoung’s cheeks redden. Of course he remembers about her. She is cute.

 

@kdyoo_9602

_‘momo!!’_

_@nayutss_

_‘yea’_

_‘she actually works in tower records lol’_

_‘she got them for me to bribe me into visiting jpn for the weekend’_

_‘she still doesn’t understand im not a kboo lmaooo’_

 

Doyoung takes a moment to take in the information. He got them for free.

He would get mad, if that didn’t mean that they hold absolutely no meaning for him. As a side factor, he also knows for a fact that Yuta likes money.

Doyoung’s mind works faster than a calculator.

If he finds a cheap hostel… If he walks to the showcase place and doesn’t buy food there… Maybe he can take instant ramyun from home? There’s also the plane ticket, but he will just use his brother’s miles. He might have to ask Johnny to lend him some money. But yeah, all in all he can do this.

_@nayutss_

_‘hello? lol’_

_‘did u die?’_

_@kdyoo_9602_

_‘i can give you 100,000 won for one of those’_

_@nayutss_

_‘what lol’_

_@kdyoo_9602_

_‘please!!!’_

 

He bites his lip in anticipation; his hands are shaking once again, so much that he almost misses the three dots. There hint of salty water in his eyes are making them burn, and it’s harder to see what Yuta replies when he’s trying to swallow them down, because crying in public is embarrassing, but crying in public out of excitement is in every level, worse.

 _‘actually’_ , he replies, and Doyoung has to hold his phone with both hands to even read the shaky words.

 

_@nayutss_

_‘i was gonna go home that weekend anyw lol’_

_‘ill just give them to u idc about them’_

_‘u can stay over’_

Doyoung’s eyes grow three times their size, as he rereads what Yuta wrote. It can’t be real. He can’t be serious. Doyoung must be dreaming, or this is a bad taste joke. Yuta… Nakamoto yuta? Just giving the tickets to him? Just like that? To _him_?

_@kdyoo_9602_

_‘this is not a joke right?’_

_‘right??’_

_@nayutss_

_‘ill be bored at home’_

_‘all alone…’_

_‘uknow’_

 

Doyoung’s eyes squint at the last string of messages.

Oh. _So it’s like that._

 

…well, he doesn’t care. He doesn’t give a single fuck.

 

_@nayutss_

_‘so u want them or nah’_

_@kdyoo_9602_

_‘yes!!!’_

_‘thank you!!!!’_

Doyoung can’t see the reply, because he’s too busy hugging his phone and giggling to himself. He doesn’t care about the group of girls that are looking at him weird from across the park, nor the professor that just tsked at him. He can’t believe it. He will see them. He will finally get to see Jeno!

His heart is about to burst.

 

 

It’s a few days later, when he finds himself walking into the big airport of Seoul, waiting for the Japanese man to arrive. It wouldn’t be hard to spot him, not everyone sports purple hair and the big fluorescent yellow headphones Yuta wears at all times.

Doyoung finds himself surprisingly calmer than he thought he would be. He thought he would be shaking, excited like a child, but he finds himself feeling more collected than ever. Maybe it’s a bit like he is in a trance, because he doesn’t even stutter when he asks his order in the airport’s Starbucks, nor when he asks for an extra one for the other guy out of politeness.

It’s the least he can do for him.

Even though he hates to admit it, and even though he would have never even dreamt of a situation like this, he feels terribly thankful towards him. Thanks to Yuta, not only he was finally going to be able to see his babies live, but also he would be spending the bare minimum. He even assured him that his mom would take offense if he took food from home, like he was planning to, or if he tried to invite them to eat to some restaurant, like he offered. He literally had to just pay for his plane ticket and that’s it.

He takes the order labeled as Yuta in his hand, and goes to sit on a table. Their flight wouldn’t part for at least one hour more, and he only carried hand luggage, so he could finally relax.

As he waits for him to arrive, he opens Twitter.

 TY<3MARK: _‘I just cant believe how lucky you are, dy’_ , TY sends to the groupchat.

 _MARK RAP LEGEND: ‘make sure to tell mark to say swaggy please please please please’_ , Lucas sends right after.

Doyoung laughs. Lucas was the most recent addition to their group chat, but he was always so funny and energetic.

 _10/10:‘I wish I had found a sugar daddy like him that took me to concerts :(( imagine all the support my clc girlies would have gotten’_ , Ten adds, and Doyoung pales slightly.

_JENOS DAD: ‘wait’_

_JENOS DAD:‘hes not my sugar duddy asshole!!!!!!’_

_JENOS DAD: ‘daddy*’_

_JENOS DAD: ‘I told yall hes like a friend but not really’_

_10/10: ‘you did give him sugar for that pc that day tho ;P’_

Doyoung winces at the memory. He tells Ten too much. Of course he would take such a simple transaction out of context, and use it to make fun of him, of course.

Besides, it’s not like it was anything like that. Perhaps Yuta has a weird sense of humor, one that Doyoung doesn’t completely understand, one that took him to think that he was being serious when he teased him about giving him a kiss in exchange for a stupid (cute, adorable as hell, absolutely necessary for his jeno collection) photocard he got from his cousin. One that took him to accept without a second thought and lead them to make out on Johnny’s bed on that party.

It was… just misunderstandings, of course. nothing else. he definitely didn’t stay thinking about that even after three months and two weeks. Not even when the kiss itself had been so good.

Because it had been _Yuta_ who he made out with. Stupid, _annoying Yuta_.

So, any positive feeling got, of course, cancelled.

_(Damn it, ten, why did he have to bring up that now?)_

_JENOS DAD: ‘hmmmgfklf making out is not giving anyone sugar omg!!’_

_MARK RAP LEGEND: ‘i agree tho kissings just kissing’_

_JENOS DAD: ‘thanks xuxi’_

_MARK RAP LEGEND: ‘doNT CALL ME XUXI I SHOULDN’T HAVE TOLD YOU THAT AKJFSHF’_

_TY <3MARK:´did he ask for…. like, a compensation though?’_, _TY_ asks, always the concerned mom.He knows the question isn’t intended to make him feel anything. In fact, maybe he just meant it in a funny way (TY is really bad at making jokes)

But suddenly he feels… kind of dirty.

_JENOS DAD: ‘I mean’_

_JENOS DAD: ‘not directly’_

_JENOS DAD: ‘but he said he was inviting me over to not be bored “all alone”….’_

_MARK RAP LEGEND: ‘you guys aren’t like friends’_ , _Lucas_ adds.

_10/10: ‘fuckboy alert’_

_TY <3MARK: ‘exactly’_

_10/10: ‘so’_

_JENOS DAD: ‘slkdfd you guys are making me feel like a prostitute omg’_

_TY <3MARK: ‘hahahahahaa’_

_MARK RAP LEGEND: its okay hyung you gotta support jeno somehow u__u_

_JENOS DAD: LUCAS_

_TY <3MARK: ‘just don’t do anything you don’t want ok???’_

_10/10: ‘you do find him hot tho’_ , Doyoung rolls his eyes at the meme _Ten_ sends, along those words.

_MARK RAP LEGEND: ‘if he does something u don’t wanna just tell me’_

_MARK RAP LEGEND: ‘ill fly all the way to japan and BEAT HIS ASS!!’_ , _Lucas_ sends, along with many bicep emojis.

 

_10/10: ‘sdklsdf as if lucas would kill a fly how cute’_

 

Doyoung doesn’t have time to reply, because suddenly foreign fingers are touching all over his screen, messing with his apps randomly.

“Hey!”, Doyoung yells, angrily, before looking up and finding a mocking smile directed at him. He wants to get infuriated, but a reminder in his brain pops up.

Be thankful just this once.

So, he just smiles back tightly, and slides the cup on his direction, glad that the scolding lava that Starbucks serves for coffee was useful for once, relieved that he can still feel heat emanate through the paper.

Yuta raises his eyebrows, kind of surprised, before sliding in. Next to him there’s a big blue luggage, and when Doyoung asks about it, he just says it has a few gifts he got for his family. For some reason, it hits Doyoung as something he can’t really explain, something between gentlemanly and… and… _nice_.

Wow. He never thought he would be using that word in the same sentence as ‘Yuta’. At least not without a ‘not’ between them. He never thought Yuta cared about anyone other than himself, honestly.

 

As they enter the plane, it feels more and more real the fact that he is actually going to in real life see his babies. It’s so weird.

The thing is, Doyoung has been following them from way before pre-debut. He already had seen Jeno many times, especially, on T.V., because he had always been a commercial star.

And how could he not? The boy was adorable in every sense. He had eyes that crinkled into moon crescents whenever he smiled. He had a soft spoken voice that had been starting to contrast really cutely with the manliness his face had started to acquire. He was nice and well mannered, even for an idol. He had funny, almost cartoon like expressions whenever he was surprised or confused. He had been born to be special, at least in Doyoung’s eyes.

But because destiny is a bitch, even though they already were on their second year after debuting, Doyoung had never been able to actually go meet them, NCT Dream. If there was a scheduled fan meeting, he would never have enough money to buy the dozens of albums one needed to get into one. If there were public presentations, for some reason, they were always scheduled on exam season, and as much as he loved the kids, his education would always come first.

He had already kind of gotten resigned to the fact that he would never be able to see them until he finishes college. Which was a shame, because the kids would only be kids for so long. Of course he adored their talent, but… Cuteness was always a big factor for him. _Ten_ always joked that he was probably their hyung in other life. Taeyong always said that he should see into adopting children when he gets older.

Yuta sits down first, choosing the window seat without asking, though Doyoung doesn’t really mind. After putting his luggage on the cabin above them, he sits down, and opens the chat to say goodbye to the group chat.

As he is typing, he feels a pair of hands patting around his lap, and yelps. He looks down, and recognizes the ring in Yuta’s middle finger, but before he can even say anything, he realizes what the other one is doing… When he finally finds the other side of the seatbelt, and buckles it securely over Doyoung’s hips, fastening it slightly.

Doyoung gulps, his eyes glued to where Yuta’s hands had been lingering, phone still in his hands. He turns to the side, but his questioning eyes just find the older looking outside the window, bright yellow headphones already on his ears, and loud j-rock drowning him from the rest of the world.

The plane takes off.

Doyoung feels anxiety growing in him, finally. The good kind, though. Mostly because he willed himself into forgetting about _that_ by re-watching some presentations and clips he had saved in his phone.

He just can’t wait. He adores the kids so much, all of them, even if it’s Jeno the most.

Their latest album is amazing, too. It sounds so youthful and it reminds him of when he was their age, making friends at the beach, riding the bike during summer afternoons, it reminds him about the sun and bright green grass and not caring a lot. It makes him feel so good. It helps him forget about his homework, his projects, his classes and everything that he stresses about, even if it’s just for a bit.

For a brief moment, he starts thinking about the actual showcase, and suddenly remembers a small detail.

“Hey, Yuta-hyung?”, he says, and the older gets slightly startled, as if he had been into deep thought. He takes a second to turn to him and lower his headphones, before Doyoung continues, “Who did you give the other ticket to?”

“Hmm? Nobody.”, Yuta replies, before stretching his arms up high. He rolls his shoulders a little, and stretches them as far back as the seat allows him. “I was thinking I might as well come along, since I’m here and all.”, he continues, with a slight growl in his voice, that turns into a huff of air as soon as he lets go off the stretch. “Why, am I not allowed?”

Doyoung’s eyes widen, but just slightly, “N-no. I mean, yeah, I’m just… Surprised?”

Yuta just cocks a brow slightly, and smirks just a little, before his hands go back to his headphones to put them back on. Doyoung’s hand lands on his bicep, stopping him.

“Hmm?”, Yuta’s eyes are back on him, and Doyoung kind of swallows. He doesn’t know why he swallows. It’s definitely not because he suddenly remembers Ten’s words.

(‘ _you do find him hot tho_ ’)

“Have you-Um.”, he finds that his mind is slightly blank at the moment, “I mean, have you ever heard any of their songs? NCT Dream’s?”

Yuta just shakes his head, “Nah.”

They spend the rest of the trip sharing Doyoung’s earphones.

 

 

In an honest talk, Tokyo is beautiful.

He hasn’t been there more than, what, thirty minutes? But he already knows that.

There’s something just so pleasing about the structure of the buildings; something so hypnotizing and dazing about the dumb amount of ads and posters and lights on every direction he looks at. It’s a blur of pinks and yellows, and he opens his eyes big trying to absorb it all through the opened window of the taxi they are currently riding towards Yuta’s house. The breeze hits his face softly, filtering through his short sleeved shirt, and for a second, he wishes he was staying for more than the weekend.

“I thought you were from Osaka.”, he suddenly blurts out, distracted.

“I am,” Yuta replies from next to him, “Dad still lives there.”

The car takes a turn into the small streets, and it’s a slope. He gets reminded slightly of Seoul, but then he looks at the houses and damn, it’s like he just walked inside an anime set. It’s nowhere nearly as illuminated as the main streets they’ve been going through so far, but the lights coming from almost every house make him feel warm.

“Is it as beautiful as Tokyo?”

There’s a short laugh. “Even more.”

“I want to go…”, he sighs, hypnotized.

Yuta is about to reply, but he gets interrupted by the driver, who asks something. Yuta replies and Doyoung doesn’t even try to pay attention, since he never really learnt Japanese. Maybe he should.

They arrive shortly after. The chauffeur helps them get their luggage out, and Doyoung hurries to pay him with the few yens he exchanged in the airport, still feeling bad about the whole thing. Yuta glares at him when he realizes, but Doyoung just takes his bag and looks straight ahead, as if nothing had happened.

A short, adorable lady opens the door, and welcomes them in the most excited yet calm voice Doyoung has ever heard. She has the same big eyes Yuta has, except older, gentler as well. He bows as Yuta introduces him, and he lets out the only word in Japanese he has ever learnt:

“ _K-konichiwa_ ”

For some reason, this makes both Yuta and his mom laugh*, and she hurries them inside.

“ _Kono hito wa… Kareji_?”, he hears the woman ask**, as he takes off his shoes.

“ _Hai_ ,”, he hears Yuta reply, in a cheeky voice.

“ _Eeeh!_ ”, she exclaims.

“ _Sou uchi_.”, Yuta interrupts.

When Doyoung looks up, he finds her glaring at her son, but the expression comes off as slightly adorable to him.

 

They eat, and talk and finally, they are on Yuta’s bedroom. Yuta’s mom turns out to be a great cook, and he finds that even though Japanese food is less strong in taste than Korean, he loves it. It has more subtle flavors, the type that you don’t instantly feel in your mouth, but creep up your nose and leave you feeling a million things even after you swallow. It’s definitely different, but in a way that Doyoung finds himself loving.

Yuta’s room is larger than he thought it would be, too. There’s a western bed, a desk with a desktop computer, and even a fancy sound system with slick black speakers placed on two different spots of the room. He has a library as well, where some shelves have books, other have trophies (Doyoung assumes they are the famous high school soccer tournaments Yuta always talk about), and there’s one or two with anime figures. All of this still leave room for a good walkable space in the center of the room, where his bag is currently residing, right next to a rolled up futon set. 

The home itself is kind of bigger, in general, than he imagined it, but Yuta mentioned that they used to live all together here, so it makes sense.

The boy himself is in the shower at the moment, and Doyoung is taking the time to check and update himself about Dream, as well as reply to his notifications.

_10/10: ‘sooo’_

_10/10: ‘how was the trip with your sd’_

Doyoung instantly feels attacked, as he suddenly remembers Yuta falling asleep on his shoulders after one too many ballads. He fights off the red that wants to crawl to his face, winning.

_JENO’S DAD: ‘stfu??’_

_10/10: ‘omg’_

_10/10: ‘I knew it’_

_10/10: ‘he sucked him off on the plane’_

_JAEJAE: ‘whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!?!?!?!?’_

Of course this was the moment _Jae_ chooses to appear. _Jae_ was a friend of all of them, replying or liking every single one of their tweets, but he never ever replied group chats… or any type of chat, whatsoever.

_JENOS DAD: ‘TEN’_

_JENOS DAD: ‘NO’_

_JENOS DAD: ‘I DIDN’T!!’_

_JAEJAE: ‘but ten is so sure?’_

_JENOS DAD: ‘HOW WOULD HE KNOW’_

_10/10: ‘I can read your mind huhuh’_

_JENOS DAD: ‘well get new glasses’_

_JENOS DAD: ‘or a new brain’_

_JENOS DAD: ‘because that’s NOT what happened’_

_TY <3MARK: ‘what happened then?’_

_JENOS DAD: ‘nothing.’_

Doyoung instantly gets a direct message and groans because _Ten_ knows him too well.

_10/10: ‘what happened???’_

_JENOS DAD: ‘nothing youd care. all soft.’_

_JENOS DAD: ‘like not even soft forget about it nothing happeendd’_

_10/10: ‘HEY I love soft whos the one that always goes off about cuddling jongin and seulgi huhhhh’_

_JENOS DAD: ‘you say that after talking about a threesome with them :/’_

_10/10: ‘whatever’_

_10/10: ‘tell me!! please?’_

Doyoung ends up telling him, and for once he’s glad _ten_ never actually got around getting a Kakao account, because he would be calling him right now. And yelling. And causing him a headache. He can feel it.

Luckily, before he can read the machine gun of texts _ten_ sent, Yuta walks in, towel on the hips, hair wet, water drops lining his entire self. And even though Doyoung had imagined it many times (more like had been forced to, since Sicheng complained about it so much), seeing it firsthand…

“You gonna shower?”, he asks, casual, a towel on his hand drying his hair furiously.

…It was different.

Doyoung just nods, and hurries into the bathroom.

It’s small, and it has the typical small tub he’s seen only in doramas before, his limbs move awkwardly as he tries not to knock anything down. He usually wouldn’t need to try this hard. The thing is that he is suddenly having a hard time focusing.

_(“did he ask for a compensation, though?”_

_“u guys aren’t exactly friends.”_

_“just…. don’t do anything you don’t want to.”)_

Even though he only read all of those words, they repeat like a chant in his mind. He can almost hear them.

_What if I do want it, though?_

Doyoung swallows hard at the inward thought.

Does he want it?

But what is ‘it’, exactly? What does Yuta want as“compensation”, exactly? Sex? A fuck buddy? Head? It’s weird. Doyoung knows for a fact that Yuta can and usually gets all of those things without needing to do anyone any favors. He rolls his eyes because it’s the nth time he’s said it in his mind today but Yuta _is_ attractive. _Very_. He doesn’t need to do this to get what he wants.

(There’s a very, very brief second where he allows his mind to imagine himself underneath him, Yuta staring into him with those intense eyes of him, lips all swollen, skin all sweaty. Panting. Maybe he even has his hands restrained over him, like in movies.

Doyoung throws the thought as far as he can when he feels his ears hotter than the water.)

Maybe the older is just a bit twisted inside. Maybe it’s more amusing for him, if he gets what he wants like this. Doyoung doesn’t know.  

Does he care? No. It’s not like he’s not getting anything out of it. If he sees it in that way, Doyoung is using Yuta just as much as Yuta is using him.

So it’s fine, really.

Or so he repeats to himself as he gets out of the shower. As he puts on the big shirt and grey pants that act as his pajamas. As he gets inside the futon, heavy duvet pressing him, a/c hitting on his face.

He repeats it to himself, especially, as he catches Yuta staring at him with his intense eyes, at his every move as he does so. He repeats it in hopes that the drum that is his heart calms down at least a little bit.

Yuta turns the lights off, and Doyoung feels a rush of nervousness and anxiety itching under his skin and he wonders _when he is going to bring it up oh my god._ He just wants to get over with it. He feels something in the air hanging between them and it’s so uncomfortable that he feels like scratching his skin off. He can’t even take his phone to make the feeling go away, because it’s all the way on the opposite end of the room, getting charged.

Minutes later, Yuta does speak up.

“Sleep well”, he says, “…man.” he adds, after a second.

Doyoung doesn’t know when he falls asleep; he just knows it takes him a while, thoughts still swimming in his head like koi fish.

He doesn’t sleep well.

 

The morning comes and it’s all a rush.

Before he knows it, he’s in the station, waiting for the train to come and oh, god, he’s so thankful Yuta came along with him. He doesn’t have a single doubt that he would have gotten lost if he was alone.

The amount of posters and signals and signs everywhere is both mesmerizing and dazing. The quantity of shops, cafes, all in bright colours, all of them calling you in at the same time. It’s almost like a maze. And don’t let Doyoung get started on the train system itself, because that’s a mystery on its own. But it’s exciting. Tokyo is exciting.

He is bouncing on his toes, even as they enter the train, and Yuta has to grab him by the forearm to calm him down because, apparently, this might come off as rude.

They get to the showcase, and Doyoung gets both the short and long end of the stick. They are sent to the far back because they are men and because they are ‘tall’ (well, compared to the rest of the Japanese fangirls, Yuta is, Doyoung guesses). But, turns out that on the far end there’s this sort of platform. So even with all the fansites rising up their cameras, and all the girls raising their banners, the view they get is, honestly, amazing. Doyoung is thankful he was able to put on his contacts that day, though.

And then, the boys come out.

And they are even more amazing that Doyoung expected. They are so brilliant on stage.

He doesn’t even know when, but at some point he starts jumping and dancing and singing along, like everybody does. He only realizes about it when he feels an arm sneaking around his waist, and he suddenly sees that he’s standing dangerously close to the edge of the platform. It’s just a second, but he turns and sees Yuta fully focused on the show, eyebrows furrowed in concentration, almost as if he’s completely unaware that the arm around Doyoung is, in fact, his.

Doyoung feels something… Something warm in his cheeks, but decides that it’s not the time or place to worry about that, and his attention is back on the show. It’s not like Yuta’s grip bothers him.  

Finally, the showcase ends. The boys talk a little with the fans, a translator MC right next to them, and they let the public know that they have to be back in an hour for the fansign, and Doyoung can’t even wait.

They walk out with the masses, and Doyoung doesn’t even realize Yuta is still held onto him, until he finally lets go when they are finally outside. He decides to bury down whatever he’s feeling right now for later, when he has time to think about it.

“Let’s go for a coffee!”, he says instead.

They walk back to the station, not even two blocks away, and Doyoung choses one of the colourful cafes that had called his attention earlier, as he tells Yuta he’s inviting him.

“You don’t have to do this, you know?”, Yuta says, but opens the menu regardless.

“I know. But I want to.”

Soon, there’s an attendant in front of them. She wears a pretty sugar brown uniform, and smiles a lot as she takes their order, and Doyoung mentally thanks once again to have Yuta around, she talks so fast he feels he could never catch up with her, even if he knew any of the language.

Doyoung decides to take out his phone, just to quickly check twitter, maybe upload a pic or two. He smiles when he sees some preview pictures from some of the fansites that came along that day, and he can’t help to snicker a little when he sees a particularly funny one of mark, as he’s about to sneeze.

“It’s so weird seeing you like this.”

Doyoung suddenly looks up, feeling slightly like a deer in the headlights, only to see the older looking at him. The frown on his face is gone, replaced by a neutral one. Doyoung can’t help to notice the way the sun from outside makes his cheekbones stand out, the humidity of the incoming summer puffing out his hair just slightly, but he somehow makes it work.

“Like what?”, he says, catching himself up quickly.

The older crosses his arms and lets himself flop back into the seat, and Doyoung thinks he can catch a hint of an amused smile on his lips.

“Like this. All… Giddy and smiley.”, he reaches out to take another sip of his Americano, and continues, “Guess I’m just used to the bitch face you always have around the campus.”

Even though the words sound harsh, the way he says them makes Doyoung feel like he doesn’t mean it as an insult, but more like stating a fact. It’s not like Doyoung can discuss against it, though. He is very well aware that he doesn’t really have a good neutral face, combined to the fact that he has astigmatism and that his stress levels are usually on their peak whenever he’s close to the institution, it doesn’t make a good mix, not at least to make friends in an easy way.

It’s not like he minds, though, he was never the type of befriending strangers, or even having a lot of friends.

“If it helps,”, he chooses to fire back instead, “I’m not used either to you being actually nice to me or not trying to get on my nerves every two words.”

Yuta’s lets out a tiny laugh, and it feels like a shift on his demeanor. Up until now, it sort of felt like he was in constant tension, even as he threw a snarky comment or smiled to his mom. Like he was trying to be responsible, but not quite. Like he had some sort of duty or mission.

“It’s not my fault! You need to see how amusing you are when you get pissed.”

Doyoung rolls his eyes, and takes a sip off his cappuccino. They fall again into a silence that is, well, awkward.

In Yuta’s words, it is weird. He’s just not used to… this.

The thing is that he is just not used to this Yuta, who is quiet and responsible and nice. He’s used to the loud Yuta, the one who wouldn’t think twice about trying to sass him out, to make unnecessary jokes from the other side of the table. The Yuta that is friends with everyone, laughs a lot, and is always down to a party or a videogame session or a dinner out with the group. He wonders for a second if this is the Yuta only Sicheng and Johnny get to see.

The one he gets to see, though? That’s the Yuta that will go stretches to bother him when they all together having fun, the one that starts fights but keeps a smile on his lips as he fires back his insults. The one that only needs to yell ‘Dons!’ to have Doyoung’s mood dropping in a second. He just never understood why Yuta never seems to understand that he just doesn’t like interacting with him, that he just doesn’t want to talk to him if possible. That he wants him to leave him alone, most days.

But again, _this_ Yuta is completely not like this.

There’s a strange silence between the two. It almost feels like it’s space for words unsaid, but what words those are supposed to be, Doyoung has no idea. It doesn’t even feel like Yuta is holding back to fight, there’s no venom between them. There’s just… this _weight_.

Doyoung feels fidgety again, all of a sudden, and looking at his phone screen, he realizes it’s less than twenty minutes left before the fan meet, and it gets worse. He suddenly remembers again why exactly he’s there in the first place, and his heart starts racing.

“Oh god, fifteen minutes.”, he says, and at the cost of burning his tongue, he finishes up his drink.

Yuta seems to notice his state, “I don’t get why you are so nervous.”

“Well,”, he takes out his wallet, fingers now playing with the zipper, “I’m about to meet Jeno.”, he says, like there’s no need for further explanation. “He’s my idol?”

Yuta rolls his eyes, almost pissed off, “I thought you said you didn’t want to bone the kid.”

“I don’t! Oh my god, _he’s a baby_!”, Doyoung’s eyes open huge, and his eyebrows furrow indignant, and yeah, there is the normal Yuta again, “Fuck, Yuta, don’t say that kind of things! Can’t I just like-?“

Yuta suddenly laughs, and stands up, cutting his words.

“I’m just fucking with you.”, his hand reaches out, and he messes with Doyoung’s raven locks. “Go pay up, I’ll go to the bathroom.”

Doyoung can’t help to feel both like a small child and like he wants to clock Yuta. But there’s some sort of heat creeping up his cheeks, too. He hears some snickering next to him, and there’s a group of girls looking at him, who immediately look away as he notices them.

The heat suffocates him a little more now, and he hurries to the cashier. Maybe he should wait for the older outside.

 

They are back to the venue now, and it’s a mess of people. Doyoung is slightly surprised, though, when he sees the quantity of male fans that there are, but also it makes him feel kind of good. There are many that are younger than him, he’d even go as far as saying that they are high schoolers probably, but there are also at least five or six people that must be around his own age.

Yuta is like a shadow behind him, following him around as they get ordered and separated into groups according to their entry numbers, but somehow it doesn’t feel as uncomfortable as he’d thought. It’s kind of reassuring, in a sense, and Doyoung likes to think that it’s because there’s no language barrier with him around.

Yes, it must because of that. Absolutely.

He gets into the third group, and ever since the first group gets inside, he feels nervousness creeping up him. He had never been to any fan-meet of any sorts, and his knowledge came all from fan accounts that he would read endlessly. He was ready to compliment every single member, and he is absolutely glad that Jeno is the last one in line, right next to Renjun. He wishes Jaemin was with them, too, but unluckily he is still recovering from an injury.

He wriggles his hands, album in his hands (thank you, again, Yuta’s cousin), and he’s ready for it to happen already. He has post-its with compliments in each of the boy’s pages, just in case he forgets how to speak.

Finally, it’s his turn.

 

 

It ends up going… Surprisingly fine.

Out of pure luck, it was Jisung the first member he was able to meet, and the way he nervously stuttered a greeting in Japanese completely melted his own nervousness away. It had been far too cute, his relaxed expression, when Doyoung instantly started talking in Korean, and from then on, everything went extremely smooth. He even got to compliment Haechan and Chenle about their voices and he and Renjun joked around a bit when Mark said he looked like they were related.

When he got to Jeno, he was greeted by his eye-smile. There was something about him very calming, very gentle, something that made him relax and be able to talk to him without blurting without his mouth deciding before his mind. Jeno asked a few things about him, if he studied, and when Doyoung told him he was in college, the boy said he wanted to go, too.  He also asked if he lived in Tokyo, to which Doyoung quickly replied that he was there with a friend, looking over his shoulder to point Yuta… Who was kind of glaring.

“Ah… _Friend_.”, Jeno had said, opening his eyes big, “Have fun the rest of your trip, then!” 

By the time Doyoung had realized what the younger had (mistakenly) understood, it was too late to explain, he was being ushered away.

Nevertheless, they are in the train back home now, and Doyoung can’t wipe off the smile in his face. He feels so… happy? Not quite, but something very alike. He can’t believe three hours had gone by just like that when it feels like the entire thing lasted like twenty minutes.

Also, it feels like he physically can’t shut up.

His incessant blabber just keeps falling on and on from his mouth, and he wonders how come Yuta hadn’t told him to shut up yet.

“And did you see when Mark almost slips, at the end of…?”

“Who is Mark, again?”, Yuta asks, his voice sounding more tired than disinterested.

“The one with black hair! He almost slips, but saved it last mo-…”, Doyoung interrupts himself when he catches an old man glaring at him. His eyes open big for a second, and he instantly ducks his head in apology. Right, he was probably being too loud. He hears Yuta verbally apologizing to the man for him.

“Sorry,”, he whispers to the older, to which he just replies with a dismissive hand gesture. It’s oddly comforting.

He looks up after a few minutes, and lets himself admire the scenery passing through the train windows. Sunset is falling down the uneven rooftops of the city, tinting everything into an intense orange. His heart is still beating fast, and it’s probably because he still feels a bit of concert high.

Or maybe it’s because Yuta just fell asleep on his shoulder. Every time the crystal allows it, he can see them both in the reflection. Yuta still looks incredibly handsome.

(Yes, even with his mouth open).

 

 

They arrive at Yuta’s home with a sense of tranquility.

Turns out his mom isn’t at home. According to the note she left, she had to visit a friend, and was going to stay over the night, leaving food made for both boys to heat up and eat. At least that’s what Yuta told him, but Doyoung senses it must have been worded differently, since Yuta seemed slightly erratic. Either that or the constant switch between Japanese and Korean had his mind slightly mixed.

Either way, he finds himself having the first dinner ever at peace with the Japanese man.

It is silent, though, both either on their phones or too focused on the food, but it’s a million times better than any other experience or prolonged interactions he has had with him. This, meaning, all of the times their group had decided that they should all go here and there together, which would end up with their friends either silently watching them bicker-slash-fight, or trying to stop them.

Honest to god, it’s always Yuta who starts it.

For example, Doyoung could be just chilling with Johnny, just talking, but he knows that he will eventually be interrupted by the Japanese man yelling something stupid, making a dumb joke, and that’s all he needs to lose all of his cool. He expects it, he feels his eyes on his back. It stresses him.

He wouldn’t consider Yuta his friend, as he told his online friends repeatedly, they just share friends group. And that’s the main reason why he just cant feel comfortable with him doing all of this for him, going all of this extent. He even kind of… feels bad for all of the times he’s thought bad of him.

Then again, there’s the… compensation Yuta expects of him. He’s surprised he hasn’t mentioned a word or even hinted at it. He probably expects Doyoung to start it, then, he supposes.

The mere thought makes his stomach churn with nervousness, maybe even more than when he was about to talk to Jeno.

 

_10/10:  ‘so you like him now hmmmmm’_

_10/10: ‘guess youre gonna enjoy tonight after all’_

_DY MET JENO!: ‘TEN’_

_DY MET JENO!: ‘you know its not like that TT_TT ’_

_10/10: ‘then how is it dodo?’_

_10/10: ‘youre gonna sleep with someone u don’t want?’_

_DY MET JENO!: ‘I mean… hes hot. and he proved himself to be nice’_

_10/10: ‘then you like him’_

Doyoung swallows hard, and his mind goes blank. Does he like Yuta?

_DY MET JENO!: ‘...’_

 

Doyoung looks up, frowning, and finds Yuta staring at his direction, yet zooming out, chewing on his food. There’s something about the way he chews that hypnotizes him for a few minutes, the way his jaw clenches, the way his lips stay sealed and their plump shape stays unchanged.

Suddenly, it’s like the shorter wakes up from his thoughts, and looks at him. And he smiles.

And it’s like his whole demeanor brightens up once again.

Doyoung can’t help to smile back, not really knowing why, and feels shy for some reason. He has to tear his eyes away, and make them fall to his plate, now almost empty, because god, he’s so bright when he smiles. There’s a burning sensation creeping up from his ears to his cheeks, and he ducks down slightly, a vain attempt to conceal it.

He finishes his food, and decides that he’ll deal with whatever his mind is trying to make him think he feels some other day.

 

 

 

They are in his room, in bed, and it’s dark. The only illumination comes from the screens of both of their phones, as they are already almost about to sleep.

Doyoung has been worrying his lip ever since he got out of shower, as he put on his pajamas, as he got inside the futon. He stays munching on it as Ten sends suggestive emojis and asking how it was. He even does it as he attempts to just forget about it. If he hasn’t asked for it, he probably doesn’t want it.

It’s just that Doyoung feels terriby… Terribly…

Well, he doesn’t even know. He just knows there’s a weird ball of lava bouncing around his stomach, making him feel heavy and hot and anxious.

And also, maybe, he’s a bit curious.

There’s also the image he conjured the day before plaguing his mind every time he closes his eyes and it’s probably actually torture.

It’s in this state that decides he just can’t wait anymore. He needs to get over this fast.

So he does it.

 

 

The next thing he knows is that he sees Yuta go to a string of emotions in less than a second. Startle, surprise, confusion, and lastly, there’s a smirk on his lips. And that he watches all those emotions go through from upside down his face.

“Hey”, he says, as he lifts himself up slightly, supporting his weight in his forearms.

Doyoung gulps from above of him, legs on each side of Yuta’s laying frame, enclosing him with a confidence he doesn’t have. He feels himself starting to blush, his breath already jarred. He’s excited. He’s shy. He’s nervious.

He can’t let him know this, so with shaky hands, he grabs a fistful of purple hair, and lets his mouth crash against his.

The older is quick, oh, so quick to catch up. He’s moving his lips against his; Doyoung feels his hand slide up his waist, diving inside his thin shirt. He shivers, as he presses his fingers on his skin, and he knows Yuta feels it, because he feels his smirk in the kiss, and he starts feeling more frenetic.

They are almost violent. Is it the lack of air that’s making his mind cloudy, or is the way Yuta’s hands start exploring up, touching his hipbones, making him squirm? He bites his lip almost in revenge, and he opens his eyes to find the older looking at him, eyes half lidded in desire, another smirk pulling the corner of his lips.

Doyoung’s can’t help to let his hands wander down his neck, down his jaw. He needs to feel more, he needs to _touch_. He parts from him, only to start placing open kisses down his jaw, down his neck, until he finds a comfortable spot to bite.

“Y’know,”, the older suddenly says, words ragged between pants, voice heavy, “I don’t know where this comes from-“, he is interrupted by his own moan as Doyoung digs his teeth and buckles his hips, feeling the growing hardness underneath him. “But I’m not gonna question it-Fuck!”

There’s a weird sense of power that overcomes Doyoung when he hears the way he can make him stutter like this. He lets his hips grind softly as he decides to move back to the shell of his ear.

 “Well,” his lips barely graze the sensitive skin, as he whispers, “You’ve helped me a lot today,”, Yuta’s hands are now on his hair, twirling his dark locks between his fingers, “Gotta return the favor now, right?”

“Return the favor, huh?”, he repeats, automatically, pressing Doyoung’s hips against his own, making the move reach deeper.

“Isn’t this what you brought me here for?”, Doyoung asks, almost playful.

But at that, Yuta freezes.

 

“What do you mean ‘this is what I brought you for’?”

Doyoung feels the heat in his skin suddenly leaving him, as he sits back.

“Wasn’t it why you helped me in the first place?”, Doyoung asks, confused. “To, uhm, you know, make me return the favor?”

But as soon as the words leave his mouth, he feels regret, because the older’s eyes tint in anger and hurt.

“Are you telling me you thought I wanted to guilt trip you into letting me fuck you?”

Doyoung gulps.

“W-well, if you say it like that it kinda sounds wors-!“, but he’s unable to finish the sentence, as he finds himself getting pushed to the floor.

“Goodnight, Doyoung”, is the last thing he says, before the room falls into a dead silence.

 

_DY MET JENO: i fucked up ten_

_DY MET JENO: i really fucked up_

                                                                                                                                     

 

**Author's Note:**

> this is a two parter!!  
> i was gonna wait till i finish this but yeah i figured out it either posted it now or never  
> i hope the chats arent confusing for yall!!
> 
> also ill probably change the title or descrption hehe
> 
> come yell at me to finish this  
> twitter: @pikwanchu  
> cc: https://curiouscat.me/pikwanchu 
> 
>  
> 
> (notes:
> 
> *Yuta and his mom laugh, because what Doyoung said was ‘good morning’ or ‘good day’, which is only used during daytime hahaha
> 
>  
> 
> **”This person… Your boyfriend?”  
> “Yes.”  
> “Whaaat?”  
> “Soon he will be.” )


End file.
